Introduction
You've reached the journal of yet another fangirl, this one goes by Hider ;)
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posted on: Monday, June 23rd 2008 @ 12:53am
You've stumbled across the wonderful world of ![[info]](http://p-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) hide_r, because you're lucky like that. ;)
Me: I'm a squeeing fan girl and the most random person you'll ever have the joy of meeting. If you have a problem with that, I guess I'll see ya later. *waves* I talk about real life a lot, but also my ships (that are usually completely off the wall) and my fandoms (and theres a lot of those).
I like a small flist. You think it would be easy to keep up with my amount of friends, but I'm lazy and incompetent like that. My adding policy is basically: You comment/friend me- I'll probably friend you. Easy as pie. (Blueberry pie that is, because cherry sucks.) But regardless, you're always welcome to friend me without having to ask.
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My interest and such are in my userinfo (though I'm lazy and never update that thing) and entries (duh) as well as the big column to your left right top where the hell it is this week.
My graphics can be found at ![[info]](http://p-stat.livejournal.com/img/community.gif) hellisbreaking and my fan fiction is tagged.
The best places ever are siderconverts + crackleandpop, but I also run choco_cherries, choco_truffles, mac_dick, jessrory, and kylegallner among others.
What do you get when a brown chicken hits on a brown cow? Broooown-chic-ken-brown-coooow
posted on: Tuesday, April 29th 2008 @ 10:07pm
01. I still hate my father and I am still not talking to him because I have spent so many hours this week filling out the same garbo for scholarships that it's driving me crazy. OMG I AM SO SICK OF MY FULL FUCKING NAME AND SOCIAL SECURITY NUMBER AND BLAH BLAH BLAH. Bleh. You guys are amazing though, I can't tell you how much it cheered me up to finally get my email access back and see all these sweet congratulations on my Columbia post and such kind words on my stupid father post. I don't know what I would do without you guys. *smooshes so hard that breathing is impossible*
02. ( How I Met Your Mother: The Morning After )
03. I still haven't watched last weeks or this weeks Gossip Girl. I have both of them downloaded though! That has to count for something. Right?
04. My Gmail account got hacked into it and it was annoying. It was a little tedious but pretty easy to fix, though I was worried I was going to have to go through this bullshit 'five day weight period' but because I could remember frequently used email addresses, five of my tags, and some random details, it got fixed pretty quickly. Still super lame and annoying though. Plus, it's put me behind on emails and I HAVE A SYSTEM, DAMN IT.
05. Please go vote at choco_cherries because I'd really like to have more than six before I post a winner. Though I'll post the next round tomorrow regardless (assuming I remember, which is a big if). *makes mental note*
part 494,194,693 in the epic tale of 'reasons why i hate my father'
posted on: Monday, April 28th 2008 @ 8:41pm
I hate my father so much. He's so selfish and controlling that it makes me want to scream and pull my hair out and pound holes into my wall... simultaneously. He's just ridiculous. I gave him two months to 'think about' Columbia summer pgoram, politely reminding me all along the way to be thinking about it. Finally tonight, after a week of sitting on the edge of my seat, I got an official housing offer from the lady in charge of summer housing (who loves me and, therefore, put me at the top of the wait list). I then called me dad, all happy, and told him that I need his final answer by tonight if he was going to help me pay for it.
Through all of this, keep in mind that my dad is loaded, he has plenty of money and was perfectly willing to give me $2100 for ten days in Europe had the trip not been canceled, but he's hesitant to give me $3500 for five weeks in Chicago earning college credit, even though it would be a combined gradutation/18th birthday present.
Not only did he say no to paying for the summer program but HE SAID NO TO COLUMBIA. According to him the whole thing is ridiculous and he can't afford to send me there and blah blah blah I should go to community college for a real profession. He told my mom all of this and then called me to give me a 'very generous offer.' He'll play for a third of the summer program if my mom (who is on food stamps with eviction looming over her head) can pay a third and I can pay the other third. When I asked him how I was suppose to come up with $1200 WHEN HE WOULDN'T LET ME GET ANOTHER JOB, he graciously offered to loan me the money and I can pay it back when I can. (So he can't afford to give me the money but he can afford to loan it to me indefinitely because that means he'll have it to hold over my head.) I promptly hung up on him.
My mom's taking out a loan from the bank anyway so she offered to tack both our thirds to that but I'm not going to let her. She's determined to see me go and I will, but she's given up enough for me. I called my grandparents and they offered to loan it to me. I hate asking for it but they were really nice about it and are both furious at dad. (The only thing that's cheered me all night was my little old grandma going on about how she was going to call my dad and give him a piece of her mind lol.) When I told them to think about it, they said they didn't need to because I've always paid them back and they know I'll do good with it. I also told them that every bit of my graduation money was going straight to them but they refused, saying they won't take any repayment until at least next year, because they want me to save the money. They're both so sweet, I'm so lucky to have them in my life.
What really irks me the most, even more than my dad's asshole behavior and the fact that I know he could pay for ten years at Columbia full time and be perfectly fine, is that he has no faith in me. He can buy his skanky girlfriend's beauty salon (the girlfriend who hit his daughter and who he now has a restraining order against) and he can buy a partnership in two of his friends businesses, but he doesn't have the money for me. He can invest in everyone's future but his own daughters. All because (and this is a direct quote) 'it's not like [I'm] using the money to be a lawyer or a doctor or something.' An artist isn't a real profession, I mean, who am I kidding?
Fuck him. I am so sick of his controlling bullshit. I'm spending the summer in Chicago, where I will be attending the program and not calling his ass. I will then move into my new dorm room at Columbia in the fall, where I will accumulate a huge amount of student debt for the next four years. I'm doing this with or without his blessing.
For someone so fucking afraid of being alone, you would think he'd realize that all he is doing is driving away the one person who still cares cared about him.
The. End.
EDIT: FUCKING A, HE MADE ME MISS HOW I MET YOUR MOTHER. UGGH.
EDIT 2: And someone on my flist just spoiled me with their big font. USE A FUCKING CUT, PEOPLE.
EDIT 3: Someone needs to upload a bloody How I Met Your Mother right now before I fucking scream. I want to start it before I go to bed so I can watch it in the morn-innnnnnng. *whines*
my first name won't be my last name
posted on: Sunday, April 27th 2008 @ 11:22am
01. First of all, a belated... HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ASHAWEEEEEEEE!!! (That's thelackoflight for all of you not in the know about her real name.)
02. Second of all, let me just say... I GOT INTO Columbia!! I'll be starting there in September. *dances* I also got into their summer program but was wait listed for housing so I don' know if I'll be able to do that this June/July. I did speak to someone in charge of dorm assignments though and she sounded really optomistic that spaces would open up so I'm keeping my fingers and toes crossed. It'd be a great way to spend the summer and I'd love to be able to get a head start on my credits. Since I eventually want to get my masters degree, my plan is to always take summer classes so that I can try and get my initial degree in three years, but who knows. We'll see.
03. My senior art show was yesterday and it went really well. I didn't win anything but I didn't expect to in the first place because the stuff I had to display was shitty. Plus, the judges were on crack. There were some really amazing pieces that didn't get anything and some mediocre ones that won like first and second. It was kind of ridiculous. Of course, I found my good portfolio (which I though I had lost) an hour after the show was over, which is just my luck. I might post photos later anyway, we'll see how I feel lol.
04. ( How I Met Your Mother: Is it Monday, yet? )
05. ( Ugly Betty: Or the story of how Gio continues to pwn Henry. )
06. ( Moonlight: Who knew Jason could be fucking creepy? )
07. Did I mention that I'm thrilled my shows are back? Because I am. Though I have yet to watch Gossip Girl. I dunno why but I just have no motivation to. I'm sure I will at some point this week though, probably when I can watch it back-to-back with this weeks.
08. As far as real life goes, it's kind of been blowing chunks lately. I won't bore you with all the details but our financial situation has hit an all time low. Every time I ever said I was broke? Is nothing compared to now. On our dining room table are disconnection notices for water, electric, cable, and internet. (So if I disappear for a while, you'll know why.) It doesn't help that I have so many fees and extra costs adding up lately, what with graduation and prom and my art show and blahdie blah blah. I just feel nauseated every time I think about it so I try not to. I like my life with a side of denial, thank you.
09. I spent all my free time this week avoiding my real life woes by working on sites. Lately working on them has felt more like a chore than anything but this week kind of reminded me of how much I love building and updating them. It made realize it was time to get rid of a lot oft them, which I am now in the process of doing. I know I do a lot of shameless pimping around here but check out Hell is Breaking if you got a few minutes to kill, I updated about all the site changes over there.
10. Though I have been keeping up on my flist, I have been slacking with the commenting lately, I know. I hope all of you are doing okay, though I know several of you are going through rough times. I've thought about emailing you to offer reassurance and tell you I'm here if you need me, but it always just seemed so lame and cliche everytime I wrote it out. I hope all of you know how much I love you guys. Each and every one of you is on my flist for a reason. I don't know what I would do without you guys. *huggles x a million*
Have a good week! (Or as good as could be expected)
Music: Senses Fail
posted on: Thursday, April 10th 2008 @ 5:50pm
01. I wish my laptop was as smart as my phone and automatically reset itself when I moved into a new time zone. Moments were I think I'm ahead of schedule and am actually way behind wouldn't happen as often, or... at least I would have one less thing to blame it on. So... scratch that, I may actually have to take responsibility for my lateness otherwise. MOVING ON.
02. When Alex baby talks to Sir Dude (our dog, which I DID NOT name *rolls eyes*), I kind of want to gag a little. Just FYI.
03. I got to hang out with my BFF JILL SIDNEY last night and it 'twas great. She blew me off the last two times I was in town (though, it wasn't really her fault so I shouldn't be so bitter) and I missed her like whoa when I was gone. I always forget how tight we are, despite how much we've both changed, until I see her in person and then it's like the clock strikes midnight and we're back to being the crazy twelve year-olds we once were.
We drove out to the ritzy town nearby and I found a prom dress! It's this one and it's exactly what I had in mind. Rather than a big poufy 'prom' dress that I would wear only once, I decided to go for a little black cocktail dress that I can rewear next year to art shows and stuff. Though I had to order it and pay for overnight so here's to hoping it gets here before I leave on Saturday and that it fits! I also got a necklace, some bangles, and a cute headwrap from Forever's 21 jewelry store, For Love 21. And the second season of How I Met Your Mother on DVD! Because it was on sale and that show is love that I can always rewatch. After we finished shopping, we stuffed our faces at Waffle House. I'm still full from all that great breakfast food. I really miss that place when I'm up north.
04. Me and dad went to the comic book store today! He randomly found it a couple of weeks ago and since he knows I like them (SURPRISE MY FATHER ACTUALLY PAID ATTENTION DURING ONE OF OUR CONVERSATIONS), he took me to it today. It was actually a really good little store and I convinced Dad to buy me The Buffy Omnibus: Volume One (which I've wanted forever) and the first issue of Serenity: Better Days.
05. I have a dilemma... ( So it's cryptic poll time! )
Music: Margot and the Nuclear So-and-So's
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