part 494,194,693 in the epic tale of 'reasons why i hate my father'
I hate my father so much. He's so selfish and controlling that it makes me want to scream and pull my hair out and pound holes into my wall... simultaneously. He's just ridiculous. I gave him two months to 'think about' Columbia summer pgoram, politely reminding me all along the way to be thinking about it. Finally tonight, after a week of sitting on the edge of my seat, I got an official housing offer from the lady in charge of summer housing (who loves me and, therefore, put me at the top of the wait list). I then called me dad, all happy, and told him that I need his final answer by tonight if he was going to help me pay for it.
Through all of this, keep in mind that my dad is loaded, he has plenty of money and was perfectly willing to give me $2100 for ten days in Europe had the trip not been canceled, but he's hesitant to give me $3500 for five weeks in Chicago earning college credit, even though it would be a combined gradutation/18th birthday present.
Not only did he say no to paying for the summer program but HE SAID NO TO COLUMBIA. According to him the whole thing is ridiculous and he can't afford to send me there and blah blah blah I should go to community college for a real profession. He told my mom all of this and then called me to give me a 'very generous offer.' He'll play for a third of the summer program if my mom (who is on food stamps with eviction looming over her head) can pay a third and I can pay the other third. When I asked him how I was suppose to come up with $1200 WHEN HE WOULDN'T LET ME GET ANOTHER JOB, he graciously offered to loan me the money and I can pay it back when I can. (So he can't afford to give me the money but he can afford to loan it to me indefinitely because that means he'll have it to hold over my head.) I promptly hung up on him.
My mom's taking out a loan from the bank anyway so she offered to tack both our thirds to that but I'm not going to let her. She's determined to see me go and I will, but she's given up enough for me. I called my grandparents and they offered to loan it to me. I hate asking for it but they were really nice about it and are both furious at dad. (The only thing that's cheered me all night was my little old grandma going on about how she was going to call my dad and give him a piece of her mind lol.) When I told them to think about it, they said they didn't need to because I've always paid them back and they know I'll do good with it. I also told them that every bit of my graduation money was going straight to them but they refused, saying they won't take any repayment until at least next year, because they want me to save the money. They're both so sweet, I'm so lucky to have them in my life.
What really irks me the most, even more than my dad's asshole behavior and the fact that I know he could pay for ten years at Columbia full time and be perfectly fine, is that he has no faith in me. He can buy his skanky girlfriend's beauty salon (the girlfriend who hit his daughter and who he now has a restraining order against) and he can buy a partnership in two of his friends businesses, but he doesn't have the money for me. He can invest in everyone's future but his own daughters. All because (and this is a direct quote) 'it's not like [I'm] using the money to be a lawyer or a doctor or something.' An artist isn't a real profession, I mean, who am I kidding?
Fuck him. I am so sick of his controlling bullshit. I'm spending the summer in Chicago, where I will be attending the program and not calling his ass. I will then move into my new dorm room at Columbia in the fall, where I will accumulate a huge amount of student debt for the next four years. I'm doing this with or without his blessing.
For someone so fucking afraid of being alone, you would think he'd realize that all he is doing is driving away the one person who still cares cared about him.
The. End.
EDIT: FUCKING A, HE MADE ME MISS HOW I MET YOUR MOTHER. UGGH.
EDIT 2: And someone on my flist just spoiled me with their big font. USE A FUCKING CUT, PEOPLE.
EDIT 3: Someone needs to upload a bloody How I Met Your Mother right now before I fucking scream. I want to start it before I go to bed so I can watch it in the morn-innnnnnng. *whines*
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