Hider Paige

My roommates have me hooked on Fig Newtons and ginger ale, of which I'm now out of. Fucking bitches.

Fri, 04 Jul 2008 23:55:46 GMT

01. I finally got my internet situation worked out. As I originally explained, there was no wireless in my dorm like we expected and I encountered some other troubles so I was basically internet-less, which sucked ass. Me and my roomates walked down to Radio Shack though and solved the problem by buying an Ethernet chord to plug into the wall. The fifteen bucks was totally worth it.

02. Speaking of my roommates: they're basically amazing. I was going to upload pictures but basically I'm just lazy enough that I don't feel like it at the moment, so I'll do that later.

Our dorm is two bedrooms with an adjoining bathroom. Molly is my actual roommate and she's from Chattanooga so we got the whole Tennessee thing to bond over plus she's pretty cool. Down to earth and spacey with a lot of similar tastes. We get along great and have yet to disagree over anything. The only slightly negative thing is that she knows some girls from the program, they went to school together in Chattanooga and they're judgmental bitches. Sometimes it feels like Molly thinks she's too good to hang out with us all the time. But whatever. We get along fine and have fun.

Erin, who is from Boston, and Jessica, who lives in a suburb about an hour outside of Chicago, are the two girls in the other room. Jessica is amazing. I just love her and want to pinch her cheeks on a regular basis. (She went back home for the long weekend and I'm already counting down until she gets back.) Erin's okay and a real sweetheart, but she has her annoying moments sometimes. Where as Jess has amazing taste (I'VE ALREADY GOT HER ADDICTED TO BUFFY - with Veronica Mars waiting in the wings.), Erin's taste is really fucked up. I mean, she literally thinks Mark Schwan is a 'creative genius' and that One Tree Hill is incredibly well written. It takes all of my self control not to jump down on her throat when she tries to defend ideas like these. Somehow I've managed to restrain myself thus far.

I do like that we all have a variety of interests that are still similar enough for us to be able to help each other and work together. For instance, Molly's here for acting and poetry, Jessica's here for acting and fiction writing, Erin's here for photography and design, and I'm here for photography and art. It works out really well.

03. My dorm is pretty fucking sweet, all things considering. The room itself is fairly big compared to most dorms and everything in the building is both very new and really clean. Me and my Molly rearranged our furniture within days of moving in. (We wanted our beds by the window and overall it's much more condusive to movie nights for all four of us.) Plus, we're literally right downtown and within walking distance of just about anything. (Again, I'll post pictures later.)

04. I like my classes for the most part too.

Suprisingly, Mixed Media Art (Mondays, 9:30-4:30) is my least favorite class. The teacher is young and really nice but she acts like a kindergarten teacher and is incapable of saying anything negative. She just accepts a lack of enthusiasm with no problem and that's pretty much my biggest pet peeve. I hate when people take art classes for ahen easy A and I thought this class would be different because it's a summer program, no one is forcing you to do it, but apparently not. The class is full of people who want to do just enough to get by and the teacher just accepts that. She even considered one slacker's 2x4 piece of wood with random nails hammered into it to be 'art.' It's irritating and her voice kind of gives me a headache. Suffice to say, Mondays are going to be long ass days for me.

Intro to Darkroom Photography (Tuesdays & Thursdays, 9:30-12:30) is fascinating and I feel like I'm really going to learn tons. The teacher isn't afraid to keep her original college curriculum and I love that she didn't dumb anything down, even though it's a little overwhelming at times. I feel like not only am I going to leave the class with some great photos and dark room skills, but that I'm actually going to understand cameras really well, inside and out. After one class, I already feel like I know so much more about the way cameras work and how they came about. It really makes me wish my Nikon still worked and that I didn't have to rent some random Vivitar from the photography department.

Introduction to Art History (Tuesdays & Thursdays, 1:00-4:00) is going to be pretty cool, I think. I've always enjoyed art history and history itself, plus the class is made up of just five really cool girls and a sweet but laid back teacher. She seems to actually know what she's talking about and care about whether her students are bored or not. I really like the structure of the class too. Every class will focus on a lesson from the book. She's going to lecture for the first half of the class but then we're actually going to go look at art in a museum or gallery, which I think is pretty cool and way better than just looking at a bunch of slides the whole time.

05. The only thing I don't like about my dorm is that, to keep us entertained, they have a whole calendar of events we have to attend, most of which are mandatory. Last Sunday they dragged us on a scavenger hunt around the city so we could learn our way around. It was a good plan in theory, just not so much in execution - I was thisclose to tears by the end of it. Last night they dragged us to the Hancock Building so that we could ride the fastest elevator in the North America and look out from the fourth largest rooftop in the city. (WTF RAs, W.T.F.) Today the torture of choice was the Grant Park Zoo but it actually wasn't that bad. We spent more time waiting for the bus and actually riding it then we did even looking at animals but whatever.

06. I went on a mini-field trip with Erin and Molly yesterday to the closest movie theater so we could see Wanted. (First experience on the subway? SUCCESS.)

Normally I'm not a fun of unrealistic stunts and the like but, since it was explained in that way, I was willing to overlook it and be really impressed. The tone of it was kind of weird (especially in the beginning) but, by the end of it, I was really impressed. I thought Angelina Jolie did a good job in it and I like when Morgan Freeman plays a bad guy. Also, I totally understand the James McAvoy obsession now. Right on, guys, you have good taste. (This wasn't really a surprise.)

My favorite part was the ending and the way it all worked out in the end, although I did kind of feel a pull towards the Fox/Wesley throughout the whole thing so her death was kind of sad, though really cool. Her feelings on the whole operation were probably my favorite part and if she hadn't killed herself, it would have totally contradicted all of that. Still, poor Wesley. The fact that it all slowed down for them when they kissed was pretty fucking sweet. Almost as sweet as the last line. "What the fuck have you done lately?"

ALSO, FUCKING CHRIS PRATT. Best surprise ever. It was funny seeing him as such a douche. "He's the man."

The best part of the whole thing was being able to pick out Chicago landmarks in the movie. The scene where Wesley walks to the newspaper stand and sees all those headlines? I KNOW EXACTLY WHERE THAT IS. And I walk under the subway bridge all the time. Fun stuff.

07. Does anybody have last month's issue of CosmoGirl? I believe it was the one that came before Vanessa Hudgens. I was told Krysten Ritter was in it and I reeeeeeally want to see the scans. Does anybody have the magazine? Even if you can't scan it, can you like confirm which issue she was in so I can check around for it? Pleeeeeeease? I will seriously love you forever and return the favor however I can.

08. Who else is excited for Doctor Horrible? BECAUSE I KNOW I AM. *waits anxiously on the edge of her seat*

09. NEW HALF-BLOOD PRINCE PICTURES. I actually think the first one is really pretty even though I'm not a Harry/Hermione fan or anything. BUT MATTHEW. AW. I can't wait to see Neville in the movie.

10. I am off to go work on the fansite I am revamping.

Sat, 28 Jun 2008 10:42:58 GMT

Okay guys, I'm off to college. I should have wireless internet in my dorm but we all know that should often turns into an oh, shit a couple hours later.

So hopefully I'll talk to you guys tonight, if not see ya later alligator!

Peace out ;)

ETA: Definitely went the way of oh shit, no wireless in my form and my laptop has gone bonkers and won't connect to the networks at Starbucks or Panera. So I'm restricted to just using my iPod Touch at those places, which I'd what I'm doing now. Suffice to say, probably not going to be caught up on entries in the next couple weeks. So let me know the important stuff and link me to the cool stuff.

Lots of love!

This entry got long. Sorry.

Fri, 27 Jun 2008 18:28:08 GMT

01. First of all, I want to apologize to any of you that were worried by my latest disappearance and the way it happened. This entry was about this incident and it turns out my Dad is fine, though when I called him about it he was actually mad that I already knew. No matter how hard I try, I keep having problems with him. He sent me a $150 in a birthday card and then told me it wasn't for my birthday, that it was the last check I was getting from him because he had sent me enough money. He sounded so... disgusted. It made me feel guilty, which I know was his intention, and it pissed me off because it's not my fault at all! He's gotten off so easy this year and it's ridiculous that he feels I'm using him when mom's had to give up so much more at such a greater cost. I really wish I had the guts to just cut him out of my life completely because he would deserve it and my life would be so much more enjoyable.

02. Second of all, I disappeared because I got a new iPod Touch for my birthday from my mother (we went halfsies and it just about killed me that both of us spent that much money) and I accidentally messed up my internet trying to configure it for the Touch, which I haven't come up with a name for. I just fixed it yesterday and my router's still messed up but I can at least get on plugged up directly to the internet. It's just kind of a pain to have to lay on the floor in the living room, but whatever, I leave tomorrow for five weeks anyway.

03. Speaking of, I LEAVE TOMORROW AT SIX AM FOR FIVE WEEKS. For those of you who don't remember, I'm getting a head start on college classes at Columbia in Chicago. I'm taking three classes (Intro to Mixed Media Art, Intro to Darkroom Photography, Art History I) and living in apartment with three other girls. Did I mention that I leave in less than 15 hours and I have to pack clothes, food, toiletries, kitchen crap, etc, and have yet to start packing? Ugh. Plus, I'm going to be gone most of tonight for a family dinner thing.

04. I GOT A $1,500 SCHOLARSHIP FROM A RANDOM ORGANIZATION. I wrote an essay for it way back in February and I knew I was a finalist but so were about a billion other people so I wasn't too hopeful. BUT WOOT. With my financial aid and such, this means that I now have $11,000 out my $36,000 yearly tuition covered... (*head to desk*)

05. All of you authors? Sign-ups for the Summer Crossover Fic Exchange are going on at choco_cherries and we only have six people so far. So all of you writers need to sign up now or I will defriend you. Kidding. ~~Only not really.~~

06. In the future, it's all of 'yalls responsibility to make sure I update my 2008 book/movie list more frequently. I did it for the first time since February the other day and WOW THAT WAS HARD. Hider does not have so good of a memory apparently.

07. Random pimpage because Sam made fanmixes: Start a Riot in Me: Michael Cera/Ellen Page and Side by Side: Rose/Scorpius

08. This? totally made my day(s) last week. Major hugs to you four.

09. I love pilot season. 'Tis so freakin fun. I've watched Fringe (yah!), True Blood (nay!), Do Not Disturb (eh!), and The Middleman (awesome pilot, slightly disappointing episode two). More thoughts on all of those later.

10. I end this post with a link to the pretty, aka a bajillion hot reasons you should all be watching that show. Guh.

ETA: NOBODY FUCKING TOLD ME THAT KRYSTEN WAS IN COSMO!GIRL. MUST BUY NOW. (Random link courtesy of Google Alerts)

Tue, 17 Jun 2008 18:20:18 GMT

Last night I had a dream that my dad died and now I just heard there was a shooting at his beauty shop. And no one will fucking call me back.

When did the future switch from being a promise to being a threat?

Wed, 11 Jun 2008 02:21:43 GMT

01. I really need a new layout. Just FYI.

02. Whoever gifted me with anonymous paid time and thus saved me from the horribleness of ads owns my soul. Just another FYI.

03. I AM OFFICIALLY DONE WITH HIGH SCHOOL. Like, as in, I never have to step foot in that stupid one-story building ever again. I have have to deal with hippie hypocritical and judgmental art teacher EVER AGAIN. I never have to wear my stupid green and yellow lanyard with my school ID on it EVER AGAIN. It's exciting yet not. I'm still waiting for it to really hit me that I'm done.

This would be my family trying to hurry up and take a picture before we leave (we were running soooo late). The first picture is obviously with my mother (who, for some unknown reason, always has that weird look on her face in pictures) and the second is the two of us with my grandparents (whom I adore).

These are just pictures of the ceremony (yes, we are hillbillies who have our graduation in the gymnasium so we can all die of heat stroke immediately after receiving our diplomas). I'm walking down the aisle in the first one with another girl, and I'm directly above the guy's left ear in the second one. I'm wearing gold and Brannon's in green next to me. Did I mention that wearing the school colors (green and yellow) always makes me feel like I'm at Neptune High? Because it does. Except instead of a pirate, I'm a raider. Woot.

My mother kept trying to take pictures before I was ready. This was right after the ceremony, hence the sweat and frizzy curls. Unfortunately, a tornado warning was issued at the end of the ceremony so most people didn't stick around too long. I was sad that I didn't get pictures with a lot of my friends :/ The guy in the second picture is my step-dad, Toe (the guy from Burma).

These are both after the ceremony so you will have to excuse my drenched-in-rain-and-sweat appearance. Not-so funny story: Traffic was so bad that my Grandpa couldn't bring the car around front. We all had to run out in the pouring down rain to the parking lot, at which point he forgot where he parked. It was horrible. Lauren lost her shoe. I was trying to shield my hair and (very white) dress with my robe and cap. Neither worked.

The first picture is me with my sperm donor. The asshole drank his way through the entire weekend, made my mom have two nervous breakdowns, and pissed me off a total of four times. I'm so glad he's back in Tennessee. The second picture is me and my grandmother at the Texas Roadhouse afterwards. Do you see why I love her? Because I do. She's amazing. I want to be her when I grow up. (Also, this picture proves that my craziness is not my fault. It's genetic!)

I kind of want to post more pictures so I might do that later with prom or my graduation party. I'm in a picspam kind of mood and I finally cleared off all 200+ pictures off of my digital camera lol.

04. It's official: I can't find Jess. I've been using the word misplaced for the past month but I've finally admitted that the right word is now lost. I can't even remember the last time I had him because I go through phases where I use him constantly and then I won't turn him on for a week or so. I've been so all over the place lately that I just assumed he was in one of my many backpacks or purses. However, I finally sat down and went through every inch of my room and bag bin with no luck. Poor Jess. Poor Me. I had only had the thing for a year! Ugh. Ugh. Ugh. I'm going to die without an iPod this summer. I need music for when I walk everywhere. I need an alternative to a stereo for my dorm room, which has three other people in it. Ugh. Ugh. Ugh.

05. Speaking of my summer in Chicago: I got my roommate assignments! It's three other girls. I googled their area codes and then went duh! and looked them on Facebook and MySpace. One's from Chattanooga, one's from Chicago, and one's from Boston. I think I'm the only one whose done with high school but they seem pretty cool. Erin, the chick from Boston is a big Juno fan and is bringing her hamburger phone! I emailed all three of them to introduce myself so we can go ahead and start figuring out whose bringing what. I'm so excited! Only eighteen more days 'til I move in! (And only thirteen days until I turn eighteen!)

06. I sat down and went through all the graduation cards I got in the mail and the ones I got at my party.
Total amount of money received for graduation: $1700.
Total amount of money going towards college tuition: $1700

07. I don't know if I've talked about it here before but I'm getting a tatoo on my 18th birthday. A griffin to be specific. It has special significance to me that I won't go into here but basically me and my cousins are all going to have them eventually (I'll be the second of four). I got my friend Jordan to design one for me since I can't find a picture I like online but I lost it. It, like my iPod, is nowhere to be found. I am very sad because I don't have his phone number and my own drawings are crap. I can't find any I like online! Ugh. Ugh. Ugh. UGH.

07. thememoryslides: I haven't forgotten about you, I promise! Everything has been really hectic and is just now starting to quiet down. I'm planning to install and set up the gallery for you by the end of the week, at which point I'll email you with your login and all the how-to stuff.

08. dignified: Boys are made out of poop. Remember that. I love you. Remember that more. *hugs*

09. Oh yeah. If you haven't figured it out yet, this entry means my random LiveJournal hiatus is officially over. "I'm back in the gaaaaaame!" ~~(Brownies for the first person who can name that quote.)~~ blueeyelinerx is so much cooler than you :P

10. LATER!

FICLET: Shelter Hotel (John/Claire) PG

Thu, 05 Jun 2008 17:47:53 GMT

Shelter Hotel
Fandoms: Heroes, Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles
Pairings/Characters: Claire Bennett/John Connor (squint to see Claire/Zach)
Rating: PG / Word Count: 283

Notes: Written for the long delayed ‘London’ challenge at choco_cherries but also partially inspired by the song ‘Shelter Hotel’ by Steve Tannen. It takes place in an alternate future where Claire is a Potential. Because of her regenerative powers and healing blood, she’s become a sort of a body guard for people deemed important by the Scoobies. This story started out small but has spawned into a whole other universe in my head that I may actually sit down and write later. Feedback is my crack so please feed my addiction.

I love your loneliness…
John meets up with them when she’s hiding out in London. Her and a bunch of the younger slayers are staying in a rundown apartment building and Claire’s standing out front when she sees him from a distance. He’s five paces behind Buffy and three in front of an unfamiliar brunette and Claire instantly knows that he’s important.

On the surface he looks completely ordinary but Claire has experience with people trying to pass for normal. She can tell the difference between is and wants to be and this boy is definitely the latter.

So when Buffy introduces him as John (no last name) and leaves out the explanation behind his stay, Claire doesn’t ask questions. She’s heard of Dawn’s past as the key (and tons of other similar stories) so she draws her own conclusions. It’s obvious that John belongs in old prophecies and future history books because they wouldn’t have brought him to her if he weren’t in need of protection.

It’s not until weeks later, when they’re lying in bed together, that he tells her his story. It’s better than her own and it comes with an alternate version of him that’s actually the right age for the year they’re in. It’s filled with his own curiosity about which John has to be the one to save mankind.

He tells her all of it because he’s grown to trust her and there are few people in his life that have ever gotten that far. It’s for that reason that she edits her own truth, leaving out what she knows about the other John. (That he once had an alias named Zach and hid out in a place called Odessa, Texas.)

uGGh to the 10th power

Sat, 31 May 2008 23:40:01 GMT

01. For the record? I officially feel like shit. I have been in the bathroom today more than I have been ought of it and I am so over feeling like this. Stupid cheese. Stupid ice cream. Stupid fucking dairy products. I literally thought I was going to hurl all over my friends hallway while I was waiting for the bathroom at a graduation parties. Suffice to say, I didn't stay long.

02. I am done with high school but it doesn't really feel like the end. I mean, I know it is, but it's just kind of hard to imagine a life without high school. When you're younger, you can't wait to be in high school, and then it takes up four whole years of your life, and then... nothing. I have to go back Tuesday for ceremony rehearsal and the class picnic, and then next Sunday is graduation. I have my party on Saturday and am really looking forward to it, though the whole thing is gotten really out of hand. People make way too big a deal of these things in the north, something I'm not used to. And my family is spending way too much money on it, which I hate because it makes me feel insanely guilty even though they repeatedly tell me not to let it.

03. On the bright side: I got an internship! It's with Time Out Chicago and is very much unpaid but I should get college credit for it and it does sound pretty cool. It's a entertainment-focused magazine for college students in the Chicago area and exactly my kind of thing. Plus, it'll be great experience for someone like me whose going to be a Journalism major.

04. I got my housing assignment for Columbia next fall. It's different from the housing I'll be living in this summer but still sounds pretty sweet. It's an apartment-stlye dorm that comes furnished with really cute modern furniture. There are 2 people per bedroom and 2-3 bedrooms per apartment, with a bathroom, kitchen, and living/dining rooms in each. Plus there's a fitness center and a laundry room in the building and I'm on a study floor so no loud and/or obnoxious people partying at all hours! Woot. I can't wait to get my roommates names so we can chat and start getting stuff for the place lol.

05. How I Met Your Mother
First off: DAMN YOU FOR BEING THE FINALE.

Second: BARNEY AND ROBIN ARE SO ON. TIL THE BREAK OF DAWN. *makes Marshall do the robot*
He loves her and she flashed before his eyes during the car crash. Awww. I love how they did that, without anybody actually saying anything. DAMN YOU NPH FOR BEING SO AWESOME. That one look had my fan!girl self dancing all over the place.

Speaking of, I'm glad Ted and Barney got over their breakup, I'm ready to have the group back. Sucks that it was minutes before the hiatus though. And the actual reconciling was kind of... not necessarily lame, but just sort of lacking.

Stella? Totally going to say no (or yes at first, and then no). I like the character, and I even like her with Ted (as much as I can ever really get behind a Ted ship) but there's no way it will be that easy. Plus, is it just me, or has Ted kind of turned into a douche? Not a full-fledged-as-in-my-name-is-Chad-Michael-Murrary-douche, but just not as overall adorable as he once was. I was rewatching season one the other day and yeah... he used to be more adorable.

MARSHALL GET RID OF THE FUG HAIR ALREADY. *huffs*

06. Ugly Betty
I put off watching the episode for almost a wek because I was afraid that it would ruin the happy caused by the last episode. Gio wants to be The Guy (!!) and I really want Betty to let him be.

The episode was actually pretty good, but I wanted to beat Henry over the head with a heavy object repeatedly for ruining the happy. The episode just started off so good! I didn't expect them to be in the 'exploratory' phase. Their little lunch dates were so cute! I knew as soon as she started yelling 'yes!' that he was going to ask her to go to Rome with him and she was going to answer without thinking. Him immediately landing on top of her was adorable though. I just love them to pieces. Betty is stupid for avoiding him and Henry is stupid for interfering in the first place. They. cannot. work. Betty does not belong in Tuscon, the end. GET THAT THROUGH YOUR FOUR-EYED HEAD.

Hilda and the Coach were adorable with their tater-tots and jello. He was not-so adorable with the wife. I'm glad she went back to him but he better break it off with his wife. The two of them carrying on an affair will ruin them for me and I will be pissy because I was just getting over my bitterness about Santos' untimely death.

Last but not least, the Meade family is so fucked. There will never a time when they are not. Alexis has turned into such a bitch. I understand where she's coming from to a certain extent but Daniel has been so loyal this season that he does not deserve the way she has been treating him and I think he had a real point about the advertisers. It's one thing to appoint Wilhelmina as Creative Director because it's for the good of the magazine, it's a totally different story for her to fire Daniel. He stood by her when an advertiser pulled out. She stood stand by him. Especially because Wilhelmina was partially responsible for his debacle in the first place. I think Claire's reaction, especially, was fitting. She didn't say anything but her disapproval was evident. The last scene was great. Alexis better feel bad about it, damn it.

Speaking of, love the kid and, even more, I love the fact that Daniel is stepping up to the plate. It's kind of cute how they can't even speak the same language but still manage to communicate. I hope he sticks around, though a part of me thinks Daniel will be right about the paternity results. As much as the kid looks like Daniel, I think it'd make for a better story to have it turn out not to be his kid. Daniel's the type of character that's always on a downward spiral and losing one of the only things he has left would make for good TV.

Now, back to Betty's cliffhanger. I have no idea which she'll pick. Ever since I first heard about the storyline, I assumed she'd cop out and pick neither of them, but as soon as Claire said what she did, I knew she was going to make a choice, and I'm glad she did. She just better make the right one, damn it. One one hand, there's no way she can live in Tuscon for the show to still work. No. Way. But then again, Coach Taylor took a job outside of Dillon for a couple episodes before moving back, Betty could to. The suitcase was too small for a permnaent move, but that doesn't necessarily mean anything. She doesn't have her ring on, even though he left it with her, but that could be overlooked to. Her dad looked way too sad for her to be leaving for just a month.

You realize I'm going to be analyzing that scene all summer, right? Good. Get ready.

07. I've been continuing my massive watching of the Jossverse and have recently made it through the second and third seasons of Angel. I'll spare you all my thoughts but just know this: Lindsey is amazing to the millionth power (and by far my favorite character). Darla is also pretty amazing, if only because her relationships with everyone around her make the episodes so much better. Cordelia keeps getting better too, though. And Fred! I love me some Fred, especially when she's with Gunn (though I know I'm in the minority with that one). DAMN YOU SHOW, I LOVE THEM ALL. Lindsey's still uno though.

08. My wireless mouse is totally being a bitch and it used to be the sweetest thing ever. Not cool, dude. Not. Cool.

09. My paid account is expiring. Also so not cool because I am broke to the tenth power. All my graduation money is paying the fall housing deposit and my summer meal plan at college. Any chance any of you could help a girl out? I'll repay you somehow. (Art, icons, fic, you name it.) PLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEASE? /begging

10. MY TUMMY HURTS, DAMN IT.

FICTION: We Don't Talk About It (Cera/Page)

Fri, 30 May 2008 21:28:35 GMT

We Don't Talk About It
People/Pairings: Michael Cera/Ellen Page
Rating: PG / Word Count: 466

Notes: If you live under a rock/are not as obsessed with Michael Cera as you should be: the red jacket really doesn't exist. Ellen in Juno. Michael at the Melbourne Superbad premiere. Michael helping SNL. Etc. Etc. I think I've made my point, which makes up for me writing RPF. DON'T BITE ME. Bite Sam instead. She tastes better, I promise.

She wore it through half of Juno and, even when they weren’t filming, it seemed to always be around. It become a lame joke on set, Ellen-and-her-red-jacket. At the end of the movie, the costume designer (a woman named Maurine who liked to measure a little too efficiently for his taste) boxed it up and gave it to her at the wrap party as a gift. Everybody laughed but Ellen let out a large chuckle of glee and immediately put it on over her (very little) black dress.

Later that night, after ~~one~~ ~~six~~ eight too many drinks between them, they’re laughing at anything and everything and stumbling out of the cab Jason called and into the hotel they’re both staying at for one more night.

Hours later, they’re laying on his bed, but neither of them are wondering how they got there, even though neither of them know. Instead, they let the silence sit between them as they both stare at the ceiling.

‘Hey, Juno?’

‘Hey, Paulie?’

They don’t say anything else because there’s nothing to say, not really. She’s got Ben, he’s got Maria. Not that it would make a difference if they didn’t. It wouldn’t, really. (It might.)

The next morning he wakes up to find her gone with the red sweat shirt in her place. There’s a piece of hotel stationary folded up like a little tent on top of it. He recognizes her messy scrawl, even hung over, instantly. The lopsided words simply read, Keep it.

And he does.

- -

The guys are just that - guys - so they don’t seem to notice just how frequent he wears the red jacket that’s just a smidge too small, but a reporter finally asks about it. He figures he shouldn’t be too surprised, what with wearing it to two premieres and a handful of other events that seemed to blend together in the last month of Superbad promotions.

He just laughs in response, makes a remark about how it’s comfy, and leaves it at that. Even as he says it, he wonders what paper the reporter works for and what the chances are that Ellen will end up reading it.

He knows they’re slim to none but he hopes she does anyway.

- -

It’s three months after filming that he finally sees her again. They text message occasionally - email even more sporadically - and they’re still friends, but friends-who-don’t-mention-the-night-of-the-wrap-party-slash-their-inappropriate-feelings-slash-their-significant-others-no-not-ever. Then he sees her what feels like every day for weeks on end and it’s like being on set all over again.

When she kisses his cheek during the photo shoot at the film festival in Toronto, he pretends that he’s Paulie and she’s Juno and this kind of behavior is perfectly normal.

They’re two teenagers in love after all.

OH YEAH. THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID. WOO-CHA.

Fri, 30 May 2008 02:44:46 GMT

View Poll: CHOOSEY POSEY

On the slut scale? Sam > Hider. True story.

HEE. is excited

Tue, 20 May 2008 02:25:03 GMT

I GOT APPROVED FOR THE BARNEY/ROBIN FANLISTING!! ~~IT'S TOTALLY GOING TO BE A SHIPPER SHRINE~~ I just need help naming it because my inspiration and creativity meter is at -83 right now. I went through the lyrics of an awesome B/R soundtrack I downloaded a couple weeks ago and came up with the two possibilities, but I'm still kind of iffy. However, you people are more creative than I am so I need help. (I AM TALKING TO SHIPPERS LIKE YOU, buffyx!)

View Poll: #1190695

What do you get when a brown chicken hits on a brown cow? Broooown-chic-ken-brown-coooow

Wed, 30 Apr 2008 02:31:32 GMT

01. I still hate my father and I am still not talking to him because I have spent so many hours this week filling out the same garbo for scholarships that it's driving me crazy. OMG I AM SO SICK OF MY FULL FUCKING NAME AND SOCIAL SECURITY NUMBER AND BLAH BLAH BLAH. Bleh. You guys are amazing though, I can't tell you how much it cheered me up to finally get my email access back and see all these sweet congratulations on my Columbia post and such kind words on my stupid father post. I don't know what I would do without you guys. *smooshes so hard that breathing is impossible*

02. How I Met Your Mother was pretty sweet. I figured Barney and Robin's kiss would have progressed to sleeping together (because that's just the type of characters they are) and I didn't think the show would tease us like that but, in the back of my head, there was still a small voice that was worried. Thankfully it had no reason to be, because UM IT WAS LEGEN-WAIT FOR IT-DARY.

I love how they brought up BPG's again and that Barney saved one of Robin's boobs before she got up. I also loved how as soon as they decided it never happened and that they would go back to normal, he literally did just that by telling Robin about his latest conquest... who just happened to be Robin this time. The anchor from Metro News one, ah yeah! *nods*

Also, my money is totally on Robin living in the apartment in totally a platonic way. There's no way her and Ted get back together and, if they do, it would totally be stupid and lame and totally un-MYM like because the reasons they broke up aren't changing. In my head, Marshall and Lily get their own place and Barney and Robin move into the spare room to share the place with Ted. Then they annoy him to death by being loud in the bedroom and all over each other 24/7. ADMIT IT YOU TOTALLY WANT THAT TO HAPPEN TOO.

However, I'm not happy with Ted. I think he has the right to be a little hurt and maybe even a little mad but cutting off their friendship all together is going overboard. If he does it though, he needs to cut off both Barney and Robin. It takes two after all, and I know she was just an ex, while he was a 'bro' but it's still a double standard that is kind of irritating me. Stupid Ted. Get over it. It's not like Barney had no conscious about it, he did feel bad about it. So be mean for a little while, then repress it like a normal person, and pretend to get over it.

As far as the rest of the show goes, eh whatever I don't really care when there is Barney/Robin hotness going on. Lily was funny when she was drunk and asking about how Barney was in bed though, with Marshall being all appalled. HILARIOUS. And so like Lily to ask those questions.

Speaking of: Marshall? Is still adorable. Even with the horrible hair. Oh Jason, why do you do this to me?

03. I still haven't watched last weeks or this weeks Gossip Girl. I have both of them downloaded though! That has to count for something. Right?

04. My Gmail account got hacked into it and it was annoying. It was a little tedious but pretty easy to fix, though I was worried I was going to have to go through this bullshit 'five day weight period' but because I could remember frequently used email addresses, five of my tags, and some random details, it got fixed pretty quickly. Still super lame and annoying though. Plus, it's put me behind on emails and I HAVE A SYSTEM, DAMN IT.

05. Please go vote at choco_cherries because I'd really like to have more than six before I post a winner. Though I'll post the next round tomorrow regardless (assuming I remember, which is a big if). *makes mental note*

part 494,194,693 in the epic tale of 'reasons why i hate my father'

Tue, 29 Apr 2008 01:16:11 GMT

I hate my father so much. He's so selfish and controlling that it makes me want to scream and pull my hair out and pound holes into my wall... simultaneously. He's just ridiculous. I gave him two months to 'think about' Columbia summer pgoram, politely reminding me all along the way to be thinking about it. Finally tonight, after a week of sitting on the edge of my seat, I got an official housing offer from the lady in charge of summer housing (who loves me and, therefore, put me at the top of the wait list). I then called me dad, all happy, and told him that I need his final answer by tonight if he was going to help me pay for it.

Through all of this, keep in mind that my dad is loaded, he has plenty of money and was perfectly willing to give me $2100 for ten days in Europe had the trip not been canceled, but he's hesitant to give me $3500 for five weeks in Chicago earning college credit, even though it would be a combined gradutation/18th birthday present.

Not only did he say no to paying for the summer program but HE SAID NO TO COLUMBIA. According to him the whole thing is ridiculous and he can't afford to send me there and blah blah blah I should go to community college for a real profession. He told my mom all of this and then called me to give me a 'very generous offer.' He'll play for a third of the summer program if my mom (who is on food stamps with eviction looming over her head) can pay a third and I can pay the other third. When I asked him how I was suppose to come up with $1200 WHEN HE WOULDN'T LET ME GET ANOTHER JOB, he graciously offered to loan me the money and I can pay it back when I can. (So he can't afford to give me the money but he can afford to loan it to me indefinitely because that means he'll have it to hold over my head.) I promptly hung up on him.

My mom's taking out a loan from the bank anyway so she offered to tack both our thirds to that but I'm not going to let her. She's determined to see me go and I will, but she's given up enough for me. I called my grandparents and they offered to loan it to me. I hate asking for it but they were really nice about it and are both furious at dad. (The only thing that's cheered me all night was my little old grandma going on about how she was going to call my dad and give him a piece of her mind lol.) When I told them to think about it, they said they didn't need to because I've always paid them back and they know I'll do good with it. I also told them that every bit of my graduation money was going straight to them but they refused, saying they won't take any repayment until at least next year, because they want me to save the money. They're both so sweet, I'm so lucky to have them in my life.

What really irks me the most, even more than my dad's asshole behavior and the fact that I know he could pay for ten years at Columbia full time and be perfectly fine, is that he has no faith in me. He can buy his skanky girlfriend's beauty salon (the girlfriend who hit his daughter and who he now has a restraining order against) and he can buy a partnership in two of his friends businesses, but he doesn't have the money for me. He can invest in everyone's future but his own daughters. All because (and this is a direct quote) 'it's not like [I'm] using the money to be a lawyer or a doctor or something.' An artist isn't a real profession, I mean, who am I kidding?

Fuck him. I am so sick of his controlling bullshit. I'm spending the summer in Chicago, where I will be attending the program and not calling his ass. I will then move into my new dorm room at Columbia in the fall, where I will accumulate a huge amount of student debt for the next four years. I'm doing this with or without his blessing.

For someone so fucking afraid of being alone, you would think he'd realize that all he is doing is driving away the one person who still ~~cares~~ cared about him.

The. End.

EDIT: FUCKING A, HE MADE ME MISS HOW I MET YOUR MOTHER. UGGH.

EDIT 2: And someone on my flist just spoiled me with their big font. USE A FUCKING CUT, PEOPLE.

EDIT 3: Someone needs to upload a bloody How I Met Your Mother right now before I fucking scream. I want to start it before I go to bed so I can watch it in the morn-innnnnnng. *whines*

my first name won't be my last name

Mon, 28 Apr 2008 02:34:14 GMT

01. First of all, a belated... HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ASHAWEEEEEEEE!!! (That's thelackoflight for all of you not in the know about her real name.)

02. Second of all, let me just say... I GOT INTO Columbia!! I'll be starting there in September. *dances* I also got into their summer program but was wait listed for housing so I don' know if I'll be able to do that this June/July. I did speak to someone in charge of dorm assignments though and she sounded really optomistic that spaces would open up so I'm keeping my fingers and toes crossed. It'd be a great way to spend the summer and I'd love to be able to get a head start on my credits. Since I eventually want to get my masters degree, my plan is to always take summer classes so that I can try and get my initial degree in three years, but who knows. We'll see.

03. My senior art show was yesterday and it went really well. I didn't win anything but I didn't expect to in the first place because the stuff I had to display was shitty. Plus, the judges were on crack. There were some really amazing pieces that didn't get anything and some mediocre ones that won like first and second. It was kind of ridiculous. Of course, I found my good portfolio (which I though I had lost) an hour after the show was over, which is just my luck. I might post photos later anyway, we'll see how I feel lol.

04. How I Met Your Mother
I know that I'm the 385,195 person on your flist to squee about this BUT I DON'T CARE. Barney and Robin are made of awesome and they are so hawt zomg. I can't wait until tomorrow night because I'm so excited to see how they're going to play it out.

Also? SANDCASTLES IN THE SAND? Was awesome. Not as awesome as 'Let's Go to the Mall' but pretty fucking awesome none the less. The robot! Tiffany! Horrible make-out scenes! Broken beer bottles and lots of angsty!drama! It was Legen... dary.

I want to go rewatch the make out scene now... or the scene at the bar. Both of those are kind tied, if only because comforting!Barney is adorable.

I'm trying really hard to remember what else happened in the episode.... I'm coming up with nothing. Seriously, I can't recall. Oops.

05. Ugly Betty
As much as I love pregnant!Jayma (who is adorable), I wish Charlie would just give birth so Henry can leave for Phoenix already. Sure, we'd have to have some wallow-y Betty for a while, but then maybe we'd get Gio & Betty, which would make it all worth it.

Because, say it with me now, Gio? Totally pwns Henry. I'm sorry but he does. It's not that I dislike Henry, it's just that Gio is more awesome and I think he's better for Betty because he challenges her in a way Henry never has. Plus, he just adores her and that, in itself, is adorable. By the way, Gio's hair? UPGRADE. Y/Y?

On another note, I really liked that Daniel forgot her birthday. It was classic Daniel but, as always, he made up for it in the end (which is even more classic Daniel). I loved that he remembered that he'd forget. So cute! Though I don't like that his stupid storyline with the lame sister is taking away all the Daniel/Betty scenes that made me fall in love with the show in the first place. They need to give us those back.

06. Moonlight
Although I not-so-secretly prefer Beth/Josef, I wish her and Mick would hurry up and get together, though then they'll probably turn boring like those kinds of couples always seem to. Their scenes together this week were the total cheese but actually kind of cute too. HOWEVER... Josef's scenes totally rocked the whole episode.

Was it just me or was the turning incredibly slashy? Because it really, really was. I'm not even a slash fan and I got that. Mick with his 'come on, brother' and Josef with his teary-eyed 'forgive me' before he just chomped down on Mick's neck. It totally alluded to a past full of Mick/Josef. Speaking of, a vamped out Jason Dohring is fucking creepy. I was kind of surprised. Still hot though.

On a completely random note, I totally didn't expect the cure to last six months. I figured it'd be like a week, tops. I guess that wouldn't have made as much sense though because giving up a day or two of humanity for Beth wouldn't have been as dramatic as giving up six months.

Ummk Coraline, time for you to come back now (preferably just as Mick decides to pursue a relationship with Beth).

07. Did I mention that I'm thrilled my shows are back? Because I am. Though I have yet to watch Gossip Girl. I dunno why but I just have no motivation to. I'm sure I will at some point this week though, probably when I can watch it back-to-back with this weeks.

08. As far as real life goes, it's kind of been blowing chunks lately. I won't bore you with all the details but our financial situation has hit an all time low. Every time I ever said I was broke? Is nothing compared to now. On our dining room table are disconnection notices for water, electric, cable, and internet. (So if I disappear for a while, you'll know why.) It doesn't help that I have so many fees and extra costs adding up lately, what with graduation and prom and my art show and blahdie blah blah. I just feel nauseated every time I think about it so I try not to. I like my life with a side of denial, thank you.

09. I spent all my free time this week avoiding my real life woes by working on sites. Lately working on them has felt more like a chore than anything but this week kind of reminded me of how much I love building and updating them. It made realize it was time to get rid of a lot oft them, which I am now in the process of doing. I know I do a lot of shameless pimping around here but check out Hell is Breaking if you got a few minutes to kill, I updated about all the site changes over there.

10. Though I have been keeping up on my flist, I have been slacking with the commenting lately, I know. I hope all of you are doing okay, though I know several of you are going through rough times. I've thought about emailing you to offer reassurance and tell you I'm here if you need me, but it always just seemed so lame and cliche everytime I wrote it out. I hope all of you know how much I love you guys. Each and every one of you is on my flist for a reason. I don't know what I would do without you guys. *huggles x a million*

Have a good week! (Or as good as could be expected)

Thu, 10 Apr 2008 21:50:20 GMT

01. I wish my laptop was as smart as my phone and automatically reset itself when I moved into a new time zone. Moments were I think I'm ahead of schedule and am actually way behind wouldn't happen as often, or... at least I would have one less thing to blame it on. So... scratch that, I may actually have to take responsibility for my lateness otherwise. MOVING ON.

02. When Alex baby talks to Sir Dude (our dog, which I DID NOT name *rolls eyes*), I kind of want to gag a little. Just FYI.

03. I got to hang out with my BFF ~~JILL~~ SIDNEY last night and it 'twas great. She blew me off the last two times I was in town (though, it wasn't really her fault so I shouldn't be so bitter) and I missed her like whoa when I was gone. I always forget how tight we are, despite how much we've both changed, until I see her in person and then it's like the clock strikes midnight and we're back to being the crazy twelve year-olds we once were.

We drove out to the ritzy town nearby and I found a prom dress! It's this one and it's exactly what I had in mind. Rather than a big poufy 'prom' dress that I would wear only once, I decided to go for a little black cocktail dress that I can rewear next year to art shows and stuff. Though I had to order it and pay for overnight so here's to hoping it gets here before I leave on Saturday and that it fits! I also got a necklace, some bangles, and a cute headwrap from Forever's 21 jewelry store, For Love 21. And the second season of How I Met Your Mother on DVD! Because it was on sale and that show is love that I can always rewatch. After we finished shopping, we stuffed our faces at Waffle House. I'm still full from all that great breakfast food. I really miss that place when I'm up north.

04. Me and dad went to the comic book store today! He randomly found it a couple of weeks ago and since he knows I like them (SURPRISE MY FATHER ACTUALLY PAID ATTENTION DURING ONE OF OUR CONVERSATIONS), he took me to it today. It was actually a really good little store and I convinced Dad to buy me The Buffy Omnibus: Volume One (which I've wanted forever) and the first issue of Serenity: Better Days.

05. I have a dilemma...

View Poll: TICKY!

PEACE OUT!

ETA: Why is that when I get up early and Alex sleeps til noon that I get shusshed every time I mouth (even when I'm the opposite side of the house, through three doors) but when I'm running on three hours of sleep and she decides she wants to get up at 7am, she's allowed to stand RIGHT OUTSIDE MY FUCKING DOOR and yell into her cell phone?! I know Dad just doesn't want to start a fight but it's getting ridiculous. She obviously does not feel the same way because she's gone around being testy and bitchy all week, even going so far as to provoke several fights at every meal! Damn it Dad, grow some fucking balls.

FICTION: Apples Close to the Tree (You Are What You Hate)

Thu, 10 Apr 2008 04:03:36 GMT

Apples Close to the Tree (You Are What You Hate)
Fandom/Characters: Kyle Valenti (Roswell)
Summary: Kyle never thought he’d see her again but he didn’t think he’d turn into her either. (Post-finale.)
Rating: PG / Word Count: 644

Notes: One of these days I'll come up with a title that has less than 195,502 words and won't have parenthesis, but until that day you're stuck with ones like this. Overlooking that, I wrote Kyle!Fic! How exciting is that?! I have a feeling there will be loads more to come but, in the meantime, please leave me feedback, good or bad. I’m still a little unsure about the characterization. Feedback = crack, people!

- - - -

He sees his mom when they're living in Denver.

It's just another city on their quest to blend in and they aren't there long, but one day he's leaving a convenience store during his lunch break and sees her from across the street.

Her hair is dyed red and she's shorter than he remembers, or at least she looks that way from afar. There's thirty feet between them but he would know that face anywhere. After all the time that's passed, it's hard for him to believe that these are the circumstances in which their paths cross again.

He's on the run from the law with a fake name he's still getting used to and alien powers he doesn't think he'll ever get the hang of. She's with her new husband and has a small child to complete the picture.

He watches from his place on the sidewalk as they get into a minivan with smiles on their faces and laughs falling from their lips. They look like the ideal family, with her playing the part of the perfect mother. A casual observer would never guess that she had abandoned her first husband and son in a dusty place called Roswell, New Mexico.

It’s been more than a decade and a half since she left them but Kyle never thought he would see her again. He never tried to convince himself that she would come back, not even on the first night when he saw her missing toothbrush and found his dad sitting on the corner of their bed with his head in his hands. The fighting had been too loud for months and their love for each other had been growing fainter for years. He knew one of them would have to leave eventually and that it wouldn’t be his dad.

He didn’t doubt the fact that his mother had loved him once, it was just a given that she would leave to start a new life without him at some point. It was her style.

When things got rough, she threw out anything imperfect and started over from the beginning instead of trying to fix what she already had. The few times a year she cooked, she did it from scratch. When she cleaned, she cleaned the whole house from top to bottom and left boxes upon boxes marked ‘Goodwill‘ in her wake. She didn't do anything halfway and she didn't carry around reminders. So the night she left, he left behind the hope that she would ever come back.

After she drives away in the red minivan that matches her red hair that's new enough to match her new family, he gets into his car and leaves too.

He spends the day telling himself that he couldn't contact her even if he wanted to (he doesn't) and, three weeks later, Michael the Hothead gets them into trouble again. The six of them pack into their hippie van for another fresh start with just the clothes on their backs and a duffle bag each.

It’s the tenth or twentieth time they’ve done the dance but instead of it being an annoyance, Kyle takes comfort in the fact that every life he lives is a short-term solution to a long-term problem. It makes screwing up or embarrassing himself a little more bearable and gives him the courage to take yet another dead end job fixing cars or pushing a mop.

He actually likes getting to create a new identity and always makes up a big detailed back-story like he used to do with his action figures as a kid. Even when they’re only weeks into a new life, he finds himself thinking of new ideas and making mental notes to remember those for the next town. It’s his own way of making a wandering life a bit more bearable.

He pretends to not see the similarities between himself and the woman who stopped being his mother a decade ago.

you're nothing special ; you're a skeleton key

Tue, 08 Apr 2008 18:22:15 GMT

01. New layout! Finally. I had that boring white was-meant-to-be-temperary thing for-ev-er. It was time for a change and when my muse was let out for a short play date, this is what I came up with. So let me know what you think because I really like the color scheme but am kind of eh on the header.

02. I'm on spring break all week! And therefore in Tennessee. I got in Saturday night to find that my dad was not in his usual place by security... or at the baggage claim... or out front. I had to sit outside for a half-hour on a stupid bench, surrounded by my lime-green luggage, looking like crap from a full day of riding on planes, buses, and automobiles. It's like THANKS DAD, LOVE YOU TOO. Bright side is that his guilt bought me dinner at my favorite Mexican restaurant and is taking me to buy new comic books tomorrow. Score!

03. I'm bored, like incredibly so, and have been for two days now. It's what led to the random spamming yesterday. None of you were online so I had to amuse myself. Why is LJ so dead lately? I have next to no comments on my Lane/Dave sequel and that makes me sad because I really liked the way it turned out :( So all of you who like them (and who doesn't, really?) should leave me feedback on it. Hell, while you're at it, leave me feedback on the new icons I posted and The Big Damn Fic Post of Doom. /shameless pimping

04. Speaking of my laptop, I can play and cap DVDs again! When I finally took it to the Geek Squad, emotionally prepared to send it away for two weeks to get the drive fixed, I found out that my warranty expired the week before. *head to desk* Which is what I get for not getting it fixed six months ago when it first broke. However, my dad is nothing if not someone who tries to buy my love on a regular basis so he bought me an external drive! Woot! It's very exciting. I've been capping like crazy all week JUST BECAUSE I CAN.

05. I got rejected for the Penn Badgley fanlisting :( I knew I had a slim chance of getting it, but it still sucks because he's my favorite. I really hope whoever did get approved is not just someone who likes him on Gossip Girl. I've been following his career for years, damn it. The only bright side is that another great topic came up for applications right afterwards... though I have an even smaller chance of getting this one then Penn's. *sigh* Sometimes I really hate the fl process.

06. I should be getting my letter from Columbia this week. (How convenient since, ya know, I'M NOT EVEN HOME, but whatev.) It's making me nervous... and nauseas. If I don't get in, I have no idea what I'm going to do (aside from bawl uncontrollably for weeks). I have no backup plan. The closest thing I have to a backup plan is taking a year off and moving to another random state with my mom to start over... yet again. (Which is her plan regardless.) *chews on nails*

07. Exactly two months from today (at this very moment), I will be sweating in my bright green cap & gown while I listen to a boring speaker in a crowded gymnasium. Two months and two hours from now, I WILL OFFICIALLY BE A HIGH SCHOOL GRADUATE. *dances* I seriously can't wait. Is it June, yet?

08. I have a question for the Torchwood fans on my flist. Is it like completely necessary to watch Doctor Who first? I've only seen three or four of the first DW season but all you guys posts about TW make me want to watch it, and JAMES MARSTERS. He's a bit part of it too.

09. Go enter the new challenge at choco_cherries because I finally got around to posting it.

10. Yeah, now I'm done.

FICTION: Big Damn Post

Mon, 07 Apr 2008 21:32:48 GMT

I write drabbles and ficlets all the time, usually intending to turn them into actual fics but never having the inspiration or the time to get around to it. So I hoard them all in one big document that I figure it's finally time to do a big fic dump.

Be warned. There are a lot and they come in all fandoms, ratings, pairings, and sizes.

ALIAS - 4

Alias - Sark/Rachel (Rachel)

She takes a shower but knows that she will never be clean

Five minutes with him and you’re using up all the hot water in the complex. One quick fuck and you’re scrubbing until your skin is red because its raw.

It’s enough to make a girl’s heart rate hit the red zone and her water bill reach new heights.

Alias - Sark/Rachel (Sark)

She asked you once if you ever missed your family and you could tell just by the way she asked that she missed hers terribly.

You know a yes is the answer she needs, the one she’s secretly looking for. The one word would probably comfort her (at least temporarily) and the normalcy of it might make her forget everything you are, but also just temporarily, so you don’t give it to her.

You simply tell her that you have to have a family to miss them (when you know very well that you can miss the absence of one just as much).

Alias - Sark/Rachel (Rachel)

You always said you’d shoot him if it came down to it. He always said he’d do the same. Deep down you didn’t think either one of you meant it. But here you are, hospitalized because of a gun shot in your shoulder while he’s probably locked away in some kind of agency-controlled mausoleum that’s full of frost and steel with an air of detachment.

You never really thought either one of you would go through of it (no matter the need behind it) but even so, you always expected for you and him to be in opposite places.

He wasn’t suppose to hesitate with his finger on the trigger.

Alias - Sark/Rachel (Rachel)

‘You ever get tired of fights you know you’ll win?’

His figure shows no sounds of surprise at her voice, he simply sends a vaguely annoyed look in her direction before turning back to the sprawled out form on the floor. In one swift moment he’s swiped a memory card from the man’s jacket and pocketed it in his own.

‘You ever get tired of always being one step behind?’

‘You ever consider that maybe I’m not behind, just using you to do the dirty work?’

‘Not particularly.’ His voice is controlled and bored but he paused a split second too long before answering.

She knows she caught him off guard. She’s winning. It makes her happy. (She never gets to win.)

ARRESTED DEVELOPMENT - 1

Arrested Development - George Michael/Maeby (George Michael)

After college, he takes his Ivy League education out west and pretends that it's not because she's still living the Hollywood dream. (It's not. It's not. It's not.)

They share an apartment and a set of bunk beds, claiming a lack of space in their spacious loft, but really it's just because they've grown adept at sharing things. (It's weird to live together and have personal space.)

She wears his favorite red sweatshirt to her latest premiere and he steals her movie scripts to read before she starts production.

They don't tell their family that they're anything more than friends and they don't tell their friends that their family.

It works out as well as anything in the Bluth family ever has, which means it's turned into a disaster by Christmas.

BIG LOVE - 1

Big Love - Sarah (Sarah)

‘I’m always right here Dad.’

You’re the one that’s never around.

The words get lost in her throat before she can say them and he’s already halfway down the hall before she finds them again. As she walks in to her bedroom, she wishes she had it in her to slam the door hard but she doesn’t so it shuts with a quiet click instead.

It’s almost soundless to her own ears so she knows that no one else heard it. Not over Ben’s blaring music and her mother’s quiet sobbing and her dad’s angry footsteps storming down the stairs. Not over Teeny reciting her latest spelling words in the next room.

It’s fitting because that’s how it is with everything on everyday, she’s lost in the crowd of everyone else. Her problems are never the biggest and her voice is never the loudest so she always comes last.

It’s been that way since she was eight years old and her mother got sick and she didn’t really understand why. She remembers thinking that things would get better when her mother got better, that things would go back to normal.

They never did and she’s starting to realize that they never will unless she makes them.

BUFFY - 1

Buffy - Willow/Oz (Oz)

She's stronger than she was six years ago and he can tell from her eyes, without a word, that she's seen more than he has and lost more than anyone should have to.

It makes him want to envelope her in a tight hug and never let her go but he knows that he can't. It's not his place anymore and they've both made their own choices, choices they have to live with. So he lets himself fall back into the crowd and disappear, it's easier than he would have liked.

She doesn't notice him and eventually, he's walked too far to be able to see her when he looks back.

CROSSOVER - 7

Crossover - Mac/Sylar (Mac)

She heard about him years later, the second boy she drove crazy and all the times he lived when he was suppose to be dead.

For weeks her dreams are plagued with visions of her two ex-boyfriends (the only two that ever really mattered) chatting it up on the roof of the Neptune Grand, laughing and mocking her and only her. For taking every word they said at face value. For believing every lie they ever fed her. For loving them both more than anything.

She wakes up with their voices ringing in her ears every time.

Crossover - Dean Winchester/Peyton Sawyer (Dean)

In a town far from home I was just passing through, on the last night of not knowing you.

He wasn’t suppose to stop for another forty miles but he was tired. Tired of driving, tired of chasing, tired of everything that he supposedly lived for, so he pulled over early. He crashed on a lumpy mattress at the only motel in town and despite his fatigue, stared at the dark green wall for nearly an hour before finally falling asleep.

He woke up the next morning craving coffee like usual and ended up meeting Peyton when he asked her for directions to what she told him was the only coffee shop in town. It sounded easy enough but he acted confused so she walked him there and that was just the beginning.

Because he suddenly wasn’t so tired anymore.

Crossover - Peter Petrelli/Lucy

He was her elementary ally, her middle school best friend, and her high school sweetheart.

They had met when she was five and he was seven, back when the age gap hadn’t mattered as much the small distance between their apartments, and it stayed that way until she was sixteen.

Up until that point, the age difference had only been a problem when he tried pull the ‘because I’m older’ card during arguments, but it was then that she realized why her mother always told her she should stick to boys her own age.

Because boys that were two years older left behind girls that were two years younger to go to college and forget about rushed kisses and sweaty touches in the back of his fathers car.

Crossover - Mac/Jeremy (Mac)

She secretly likes when they fight because in those moments, he's someone else entirely. He becomes a cocky and arrogant bastard who makes her want nothing more than to feel his cheek under her palm. She loves that feeling and that part of him because it's the only part that can't easily be compared with her ex-boyfriend.

Everything else, his looks, his awkwardness, his shyness are dead on and when he toes the dirt with his combat boots, she sees sneakers and designer polos and he makes her want to cry.

Crossover - Logan Echolls/Claire Bennet (Claire)

She walks down the yellow halls and hides behind the doors of her yellow lockers, wishing she could tap her sneakers against the yellow floor and be back in Texas, where schools were red and right. No matter how many times she discreetly tries, it never works.

And when she finally meets a boy who just maybe might be worth her time, she really shouldn't be surprised that he drives a yellow car.

Crossover - Meg Pryor/Jess Mariano (Jess)

When he told Rory that he had 'just ended up' in Philadelphia, he wasn't lying, but when he listed the reasons why he stayed, he was.

In reality he had spent the past year falling for a girl named Meg. He thought he loved her (he was pretty sure he did) but she wasn't Rory, she never would be, and she left him when she figured that out.

Crossover - Sam Winchester/Chloe Sullivan (Sam)

I hope that heaven hides you from me, so that you never have to see, what I've grown to be.

He talks to her occasionally, late at night when he rings her up because he knows she'll be too tired to ask many questions and too focused on staying awake to hear the points in his voice that she could always pick out (that give him away every time).

He never stops by, even when they're in the neighborhood. He never calls her when she'd be awake and alert.

He doesn’t want her to know anything about his new life. Partly because he doesn’t think he can take the death of another pretty blonde, and partly because he's ashamed.

He's disappointed in himself and the fact that she always has to save herself because he's never around to do it for her.

DEGRASSI: TNG - 1

Degrassi - Emma/Jay (Jay)

She was just suppose to be another mission, a girl he chased until she caved and he then dumped when he got bored. It wasn't a conscious decision on his part to be a jackass, it was just his routine. He got bored, he didn't apologize for his short attention span.

He didn't apologize at all.

GILMORE GIRLS - 9

Gilmore Girls - Rory/Logan (Rory)

A week or so after Logan popped the question the two of you walked into the diner and you might as well of walked into a time machine (and came out during junior year).

The two of you had to sidestep a piece of drywall in your first five steps. You could hear Luke yelling from the kitchen at what - by the sound of it - was Taylor’s voice before you reached your table. By the time you had sat down both you and Logan were laughing as Lane came out from the back. One hand held a big black umbrella over her head and the other held a plate of pancakes and a matching umbrella that she handed you. (You half expected Jess to walk out any minute.)

"Trust me, you'll need it." She rolled her eyes and steered herself around the tables and drywall to make it to a corner table.

When you looked at Logan, he seemed to be caught between frowning and laughing but you merely opened the umbrella over your head.

"Bad luck to open an umbrella inside Ace."

A chunk of the falling ceiling was your response.

Gilmore Girls - Rory/Jess (Rory)

He told her once that she made him want to be a better person. She thought it was sweet at the time but it wasn‘t really something she thought about. Now she thinks she gets it though because now the roles are reversed.

He’s the high school dropout with his own business and his own book and his own life that he made for himself. She’s just another Yale student in a sea of many who let people talk her out of her dreams and change her into someone else entirely.

Now she’s the one who’s not good enough for him.

Gilmore Girls - Rory/Jess (Rory)

You left without a sound / 10,000 questions to answers I never found / You're not around and I'm left to chase 10,000 answers for yesterday

When he left, she moved on. She rolled her eyes at the thought of him and gave no reason for people to think she was still hung up him. Because she wasn't. She really wasn't.

She started school that fall, went out on a couple (bad) dates and took a break from the serious relationship thing. She told herself that's what she needed, a break, time to concentrate on school and family and the things that really mattered.

She told herself the only reason that he was still in her thoughts was because she hadn't found anyone to replace him. She told herself countless lies and pretended to believe them.

Gilmore Girls - Rory/Jess (Rory)

Unlove me/Let me go back to the way I was before we met...Do it real slow so I don't have to lose you all at one time

It was a slow and subtle thing. He didn't pack up his belongings in a duffle bag and catch an early bus without saying goodbye. He stuck it out as the two of you slowly broke from the cracks growing under the summer sun. You both pretended the heat wasn't getting to you, stood on the cracks to hide them, but the added pressure from your weight made them grow all that faster and one night outside Doose's market, a fight over snowballs ended in bitter words that finally broke the two of you into separate pieces and you know can never be taken back.

That was a year ago and he's been gone almost as long. You don't remember the date of the day he left, but you remember the way you walked into Luke's apartment to find him and Luke sharing an awkward hug. Then you remembered that it was the day, the one the two of them had been talking about for what seemed like weeks, the one he was leaving on. You remember the half smile he threw you on his way out the door and the way you returned it awkwardly before returning to the task at hand and asking Luke for the needed favor.

You remember pretending that you had forgotten about him before he was out the door, and you remember choosing not to call your own bluff.

Gilmore Girls - Rory/Jess (Rory)

It may be over but it won't stop there // I am here for you if you'd only care.

He came back tens of times before you were twenty-five and each time it ended the same way. With tears and hurtful words slung from the mouth of people who had supposedly changed. It was only when the two of you fought that you knew you hadn't, not at all.

You were still the same little hurt girl that got her heart broken when she was eighteen, and never got past it. That girl never got to move on, she just buried herself inside of you, waiting for the day she might get her heart back.

She never did.

Gilmore Girls - Rory/Jess (Jess)

At night, she still dreams about the night he asked her to leave and during the day she sometimes dreams about what would have happened between them if she had said yes. She knows it’s a waste of time (she can’t change the past) and it’s unrealistic (they’ve never been destined for a fairy tale ending) but she does it just the same.

Gilmore Girls - Rory/Jess (Jess)

You showed up at her wedding because you heard about it from Luke, saw the details in the paper, and needed to see it for yourself. (If you were sure she had moved on, maybe you could to.) So you sneaked in late and sat in the back corner, just close enough to see without being seen.

As you waited for her to make her debut, you fidgeted in your suit because just on site, anyone could tell you weren't comfortable in it. You weren't like the groom (in more ways than ten), who stood still in his perfectly pressed and fitted tux, wearing it like it was a second skin. He didn't look nervous in the least and even from a distance, one could tell there wasn't one bead of sweat on his face (not a cold foot in the house).

When the big oak doors of the church opened and the familiar tune started to play, you stood with the rest and watched her make her descent down the aisle. When she paused parallel to your pew, you stiffened but her eye contact with him never wavered and that was when you knew it was over, whatever the two of you had (sad it took you this long - five fucking years). She keeps walking with her big huge smile - that was too big to be fake, but to plastered to come natural - and you stay still and quiet.

You remember thinking that sometimes the easy thing isn't always the right thing.

Gilmore Girls - Rory/Jess (Rory)

There’s just her and her breakfast and him and his waiting tables and he misses when there used to be a them and their love.

Gilmore Girls - Rory/Jess (Jess)

The girl two cubicles down from him has a thing for Indian food and she eats it at least twice a week, giving him the urge to spray air freshener everywhere when she goes to the bathroom or leaves for a moment. He never does, but he wishes he could.

One time they were all behind schedule on that month's issue and they were all tight on time, so she offered to go get everybody some lunch and bring it back. She came over to his cubicle and lazily leaned two arms against the front panel, staring down at him. He leaned back in his chair and looked up, raising his eyebrows in question. She told him that he looked like an Indian food kind of a guy and surely he'd side with her. He managed to smile but shook his head and mumbled something about having to burn everything to get the smell out. She chuckled, took an order for Thai and left him in peace.

After a while, she seemed to grow tired of it and started ordering more Mexican but still seems to have a craving every once in a while. On those days he goes home and pops in Almost Famous, just because he wants to.

HEROES - 1

Heroes - Hiro (Peter)

You don’t play board games with Hiro anymore.

The younger man swears he doesn’t cheat but games like Monopoly have too many pieces to keep constant track of in a quest to make sure he’s telling the truth.

Plus, every time the dice sends someone’s piece just enough spaces for him to collect money, he gets this giddy look on his face that comes with clapping and makes you way too suspicious.

HIDDEN PALMS - 3

Hidden Palms - Cliff/Greta (Greta)

She likes Johnny because he’s simple, easy to read, honest, and because he’s everything Cliff’s not.

She likes him because he’s new in town, free from the entanglements and the mysteries that wrap around the streets inhabitants like hot coils (like Cliff’s arms around her).

Hidden Palms - Cliff/Greta (Greta)

He comes by your house one day when you’re with Johnny. He doesn’t look surprised to find his new best friend there but his eyes are even darker than usual and it’s not hard for you to figure out that this is going to get bad, very bad, very quickly.

Hidden Palms - Cliff/Greta (Greta)

When you find out what happened to Eddie, you’re stunned, shocked, surprised. You’re all of those things at once and none of those things at all.

MOONLIGHT - 2

Moonlight - Beth/Mick (Beth)

Two years after Mick finally turns her, she quits Buzz Wire and they move out of LA.

It’s been the only home both of them have ever loved - though Mick’s known others - but it’s not safe now that years are starting to pass and she’s not going to be aging. Being a online correspondent for a site that does nothing but grow in visitors has started to make her relatively known and it’s not worth the risk.

They spend the first year traveling, on an ‘extended honeymoon’ as she jokingly calls it, but eventually both of them grow tired and restless and they relocate to New York City. It’s like LA but with cold and steel replace warmth and sand and, though she misses the way everything didn’t always seem dirty, she takes it in stride. A big city means big crimes and both you and Mick fall head first into the life.

He uses the same person he always does to get his falsified birth certificate and social security number - just in case - but this time he gets you matching documents that allow you to keep writing and investigating - this time in print. It feels a little like being back home, except now you have him, and that almost makes up for the snow. Almost.

Moonlight - Josef/Beth, Mick/Coraline (Beth)

It’s a hundred years before she sees Josef again. She’s been a vampire for almost a century, but he doesn’t know that and the look on his face when his eyes meet hers proves that he’s not as nonchalant about her as he wishes he was.

“You’re… a vampire.”

“Yeah, have been for a while now.”

He clears his throat slightly and seems to decide that asking for more details, when he could easily put them together on his own, is a waste of conversation.

“What are you doing here?”

“Just moved to town, figured I’d get this over with.”

He ignores the jab and seems to continue down the endless list of curiosities bundled in his head.

“I didn’t think Mick would ever leave LA.”

“I doubt he ever will.”

Josef raises his eyebrows in question but she doesn’t bother answering and chooses to ignore him instead.

“So, how’s Coraline, then?” He asks with payback in his narrowed eyes and bitterness in the quirked corners of his mouth.

“You’d have to ask Mick.”

His smirk shifts like he’s actually sorry that he brought it up, but she knows that he’s not.

Josef Konstantin is never sorry for anything and she knows that better than most.

ONE TREE HILL - 1

One Tree Hill - Brooke/Jake (Jake)

He goes to visit his best friend when he gets home, finds the door painted red (he remembers it being blue), and a familiar girl sprawled out on the floor.

She’s laying on her back, her eyes closed and her knees bent towards the ceiling, and she doesn’t seem to notice him as he stands in the open doorway. Before he can formulate a greeting, she’s rolling onto her stomach (leaving her face directed towards the floor in a position that seems uncomfortable to him) and her bored voice is filling the small room.

‘I thought you were in Africa or Antarctica or somewhere else without a telephone.’ She catches him off guard with her tone and the fact that she still hasn’t looked at him (last time he came back he got a hug and bounce).

‘Georgia actually.’ She doesn’t respond. ‘Where’s Lucas?’

‘Who knows.’ She says it like it’s a statement and rolls over to her back again. It’s then that he notices her expression, a mix of irritation and restlessness, like that of someone who just can’t get comfortable.

She doesn’t say anything more so he glances around the room and it’s then that he picks up on the small pieces of Brooke around the room. The collection of bottles and tubes by the mirror, the bright colors on small clothes in the closet, all of it obviously belonging to someone who’s not Lucas.

‘You and Luc get married or something?’ He asks before he can stop himself and of all things, this is the statement that gets her to sit up and face him.

‘No! Where’d you get that idea?’ She seems utterly appalled. He tries to backtrack.

‘Well… you’re stuff’s everywhere.’

‘Yeah, because I live here. It doesn’t mean we ran off to Vegas.’ She rolls her eyes but doesn’t offer any more explanation than that as she lays back down.

‘Well it’s not like you’d be the first married couple at Tree Hill High.’ He rolls his shoulders and stuffs his hands in the pockets of his sweatshirt, uncomfortable because he suddenly feels the need to defend himself.

‘Well I won’t be the second either.’ The words oddly make him think of Peyton and her proposal and how he doesn’t think he’s going to get another chance with her. ‘Shut the door on your way out.’ She’s lying on her side now, her eyes directed towards the plain wall, and her voice is tired in a way he doesn’t think sleep will fix.

It’s then that he realizes that a lot’s happened since he’s been gone, way more than he accounted for.

THE CLASS - 1

The Class - Kat/Ethan (Ethan)

There are some things you can’t deny / You were always on the run with some other guy

She was the type of girl that always had someone and you were just another name on a list of many. It was sad but true and laying next to her, you know that by tomorrow she’ll be evasive and distant. She’ll spend a few minutes trying to awkwardly save your friendship, but she’ll be laughing out loud by the time you admit that you’ve wanted this.

Then by next week, she’ll have moved on to another guy with another name that she won’t remember by week number two, where it’ll be another name on another face that’ll be making him hers (for the night) in her bed.

And when it’s enough to make you quietly gather your stuff and sneak out in the middle of the night, you’re reminded of her and her one shoe. (Because you’ve long ago stopped being able to escape her.)

THE OC - 2

The OC - Ryan/Taylor, Ryan/Marissa (Taylor)

She's not stupid. She can see it in his eyes, the way she'll always come in second because even he's given up trying to push her into first.

It really bothers her on some days, but even on the worst ones it's not enough to make her end things.

The OC -Ryan/Taylor, Ryan/Marissa (Ryan)

It’s enough for now and he thinks it could be enough forever.

She's not Marissa, every time he looks at her he knows she's not, but that doesn’t stop him from comparing and wishing. Because he loves her, at this point he knows he does, but he loves Marissa more, even if she's just a ghost at this point.

VERONICA MARS - 4

Veronica Mars - Gia/Leo (Gia)

I'll wait for you, but I can't wait forever.

She doesn’t tell him about New York but he finds the tickets when he's looking for gum in the front pocket of her purse.

When he doesn’t find a ticket back home, he asks her when she's coming back, and she tells him she's not. Neptune hasn't been her home in a long time so when her office gave her the chance to leave, she took it. She doesn’t tell him that she needs a break from him, but he figures it out without her having to say the words.

He takes her to the airport and he stops walking when they get to security. Her body turns to face him, but her eyes are still scanning the line, silently estimating how long it will take to get through the metal detectors. He pulls on her hand lightly and she turns to face him, eyebrows raises, ready to hear what he has to say and move on.

He speaks in a too-serious voice and she pulls her hand out of his because the whole thing reminds her of when she was ten and went to visit her grandmother by herself. But that would make Leo her father and she makes that comparison enough without the visuals so she gives him a hug, tells him she'll call him when she lands, and turns her back to him when she starts walking away.

She’s only a couple feet away when his voice hits her ears, but it’s so soft that she pretends she doesn’t hear him. She keeps walking because when he says he’ll wait for her, she knows he's not talking about the phone call, and she knows no one will wait forever.

Veronica Mars - Mac/OC (Mac)

He’s told her repeatedly that he doesn’t care about her past but he doesn’t know that her past includes being switched at birth with a conniving bitch, having a mass-murdering psychopath for an ex-boyfriend, and said-boyfriend’s brother being the guy she lost her virginity too. All in all, she decides it’s best to keep the first nineteen years of her life to herself.

Veronica Mars - Mac/Dick, Mac/Max, Mac/Bronson (Mac)

You were never good at making decisions. When there was more than one option you tended to choose the wrong one and even though you refuse to do any more regretting and dwelling, the what if’s still haunt you on more nights than you’d like to admit.

So when you’re left to choose between three guys (a decision you never thought you’d have to make), you’re not surprised when the stress of it causes you to loose sleep and bite your nail down to the quick. (Bronson, Dick, Max… eanie meanie miney moe.)

What does surprise you is that you’re even in the situation to begin with. You were never the girl that boys fought over (you were the one that faded into the background like Plain-Jane wallpaper) and you always secretly envied the girls that were until now.

Because now that you’re here, you’re seriously debating pulling a cop-out, picking no one, and moving to Canada away from everyone and everything that has put you in this situation.

Veronica Mars - Veronica/Logan (Logan)

Sometimes he feels like Veronica died with Lilly (and he knows she did in a way) but sometimes he feels like she ran away with Duncan too (even though she told him one night, buried deep under his covers, that she never would have) and sometimes it's like she went away to Stanford and left him behind with someone who just looks like her.

He misses the real her but so many versions have flashed across his eyes that he has no clue which one was the real Veronica, which one to wish for, which one to love.

Whew. That took a while.

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