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13 April 2009 @ 11:42 am
I here by interrupt your original programming for pointless reality.  
01. So far today I've spent forty-five minutes wondering around uptown because of bad directions, had a drug test, met with Student Financial Services, picked up necessities at CVS, returned my library books, grabbed lunch from Panera, and dropped off a paper in the English department. I did all of it in the rain without an umbrella or hood and am now miserable. It's only noon and I want this day to be over. Thank God my first class was canceled, now if only the next three would be too.

02. ( Blah. Blah. Blah. Fuck My Life: The Past Month Condensed in a Single Paragraph )

03. I have so much homework to do right now that I really should be doing something other than updating my LJ, yet here I am. Yay for responsibility!

04. Who else is pissy about Kings? Because it's been a week and I still wanna cut a bitch.

05. The first picture from The Good Guy was finally released by Entertainment Weekly and I's so excited! Scott Porter! Alexis Bledel! Bryan Greenberg! In a love triangle! It's almost enough to make a girl not hate life.

ETA: Umm. You guys should rec me things. Like whatever. Fic, pic!spams, icons, sites, articles, I don't care. Show me shiny things that will make the next ten hours more bearable. Pretty please?
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09 April 2009 @ 02:58 pm
Nobody's answering their phones and my roommates suck and I just need to get this off my chest  
( Cut for those who friended me for fun fandom, not serious stuff. )
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Current Music: "The Resolution" by Jack's Mannequin
 
 
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31 March 2009 @ 11:41 pm
this? is me avoiding homework  
01. ZOMG I'M SO SICK OF THIS FUCKING DORM INTERNET. It keeps dying out of nowhere. And always just as I have really important assignments to finish/things to do. I should not have to camp out at Panera to do my homework.

( 02-04. Real life happenings concerning school, financial aid, job search, etc. Cut for those who don't care. Bottom line: I need all the crossed fingers, prayers, thoughts, etc that I can get. )

05. I am going to be so pissed if Kings get canceled. Really. If you're not watching, you should be. Like right now. It's amazing and one of the best new dramas I've watched in years... and I watch a shitload of television. Seriously. (I only talk about like 30% of it on here.) ( Thoughts on the series so far (Spoilers for 1x01-1x03). )

06. I kind of become addicted to CSI: Miami. DO NOT JUDGE ME. (Or use this as a reason to write off my judgment and not watch Kings, WHICH YOU SHOULD BE WATCHING.) I kind of like Eric/Callie, even though the latter used to annoy the fuck out of me when I would catch reruns. Her ex is fucking smoking though. He's got that hot Joaquin Phoenix thing going on. Plus, he may be an undercover cop, but he's a total bad boy at the same time.

07. Party Down was really disappointing. Despite my love for the cast, I found it to be boring overall and I felt like a lot of the interaction was really forced. I'm probably going to end up breaking my three-episode rule and giving up after having just wanted the pilot.

08. Castle on the other hand was even better than I expected it to be and, while it's not the most original thing ever, I will definitely continue watching it. I'm kind of indifferent to the lady cop but her relationship with Castle is entertaining, and Castle himself is made of win. Nathan Fillion is as charming as ever and we all know that I'm a sucker for the one-liners. Quote of the week: "No, hiding would be building a fortress out of my comforter and then downing a fifth of scotch but apparently that's considered unhealthy." The runner-up was "Dead body? Yes!" but it's just not the same when you can't see the gleeful expression.

09. I have about forty-five minutes worth of homework due in nine hours and I actually want to fit eating and sleeping in as well so LATER.

10. Kudos if you made it through this entry.
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Current Music: The Glass Passenger [Jack's Mannequin]
 
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02 March 2009 @ 05:37 pm
I'M DYING. TRUE STORY. Only not really.  
01. This week has been one of those weeks where I'm so overwhelmed and dissatsified that I feel like I'm letting everyone down, including myself. I hate my classes and have no interest in any of the subject material... which is a problem because 4 of the 5 are directly related to my major. As a result, it's making me rethink my whole plan. Not only can I not afford to do that, but every time I do I think of how close May 16th really is. Moving day just keeps getting closer and closer and I have no idea what state I'm going to be in, much less what I'll be doing. I hate money. I hate the financial aid system. I hate that everything in my life is such a high wire act. It's ridiculous and I'm sick on top of it so the fact that I cannot breathe IS NOT HELPING. *huffs*

02. Moving on... Bacolicio is the most pointless and/or amusing thing to happen to me all week... except when Erin used me as a human jungle gym yesterday. (She's decided that when she can't come up with a comeback to my sarcastic comments, she's just going to hurl her 90 pound body at me and start climbing... which is surprisingly efficient.)

03. Our dishwasher takes like an hour and a half to do one load. Which is annoying because my roommates are slobs who never do the dishes. I'll go to make something but the skillet/pot/whatever will be disgusting so I'll have to unload the clean dishes, reload the dishwasher, and wait for it to wash before I can make dinner. THIS IS WHY I SNACK ON CRAP INSTEAD OF EATING REAL FOOD. Only seventy-eight days until I'm out of here... which is also incredibly sad because, well, I don't know if I'll be able to come back (see number one).

04. I need fan fiction recommendations. Real bad. Please? I'm not so much in a slashy mood but anything else is fine by me. You guys know my fandoms and I love the random.

05. I know this entry is like blah blah mope and moan but my sick brain really does not have anything else to say. *sighs* So go read epic fic instead. And random fic.

ETA: I forgot huge life-altering news. I think I'm delirious. Anyway! MY MOTHER AND TOE ARE GETTING MARRIED! She went to see him in Madison this weekend, he proposed (again) and she (finally) accepted!! They're getting married on the beach on New Years Eve. My grandparents have a condo there and it's going to be super low key, with just six people total.

ETA2: And my mom just called. She got a job in Madison! Which... is great, just a little sad. She's moving in with Toe (and the Burmese family he's staying with) at the end of the month because they can live there free. Hopefully our house will sell by the end of the year and they can get an apartment at some point.
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Current Mood: sick
Current Music: The Glass Passenger [Jack's Mannequin]
 
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10 February 2009 @ 01:44 pm
One step forward. Ten steps back.  
My mom cashed out her whole retirement fund to send me to school for one semester and it was all for nothing. According to the government, it doesn't matter that she used every dime of it for my tuition and that we have the paperwork and 1079 form to prove it. It counted as an income and has therefore royally screwed me over.

It doesn't matter that we spent half of 2008 on food stamps. They don't care that Toe spent most of the year unemployed and (on paper) still is. They don't care that we're up to our ears in debt and are about to lose our house. Because there isn't a way to explain to the IRS that we have to come up with a thousand bucks by the end of the year so Toe doesn't have to go back to fucking Burma! There's no way for you to tell them that half of your food comes from the shelter or that you've been selling off your shit to pay bills! Their bills in fact! The state of Indiana is charging my mom tax on that retirement money and that's $1,100 she owes before she can get her $500 federal refund. But none of this matters. All they care about is that my mom's adjusted gross income is over the limit.

So all of my grants, 'supplementary assistance,' and need-based scholarships I worked off my butt off for? Gone. And since no one in my family can qualify for the PLUS loan or co-sign a private loan, I'm screwed.

It was going to be hard enough for me to stay next year anyway, there was no way I was going to find ten grand in scholarships, but now that I need twenty grand? Fuck that. Have they seen the economy lately?!

Worse yet, when I drop out of school and start working, I won't even be able to save the money for school. I'll have to start paying back the $10,000 I owe the federal government (plus the $7,000 I owe my grandparents. FUN.

I can feel all of my dreams and goals going up in smoke, guys. I just... I don't even know what to do anymore. I'm just so sick of fighting for every inch just to have six more taken away. I'm not getting anywhere and I'm just so sick of it. All I wanna do is curl up in a ball and cry. That's all I have been doing and I hate myself for it! It's not helping but I honestly don't even know what to do to help.

I just want something, anything, to be easy for once in my life.
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